Witness… The Quest for a Quack
And so, we have arrived at the end of Season 3. We’ve traveled through time, seen the coronation of a new (horse) queen, watched as a family literally put itself back together, and sang despite the threat of severe and imminent shocking. And what better way to cap off such an exciting, bombastic season with… a tiny story about a break-up and a duck. Makes sense to me!
Technically speaking, “The Sitting Duck” is the first episode of WiYW… I ever wrote. I spoke in the blog entry for “The Imagination Plague” about how I ripped myself off by taking a short film idea I had and adapted it into podcast form. Well, the same thing happened here, only “Duck” was never going to be a full length story. It was always meant to be short. In fact, the script was only ten pages, which would translate into roughly ten minutes.
I can’t be certain if this is true or it’s just become a sort of “legend” or “lore” in my memory, but I believe the story was based on something I actually witnessed. Driving into Fairfax, my hometown, for whatever reason, and in the opposite lane, a duck sat in the middle of the road. Someone had stopped their car and was approaching it slowly. I kept driving, so I don’t know if they were successful in collecting the duck or not, but it didn’t matter. Inspiration struck me. I started to think about how the people in the cars behind this animal lover would feel. Not all of them would be able to see what the hold up is, and even if they could, there’s no guarantee that they would have given a shit about the well-being of a duck. The image of a line of drivers all sticking their middle fingers out their windows popped into my brain. It was beautiful. I don’t remember if I started writing the script as soon as I got home, but I wouldn’t be surprised if I did.
The first two pages of A Friend to the Animals
As you can see, a lot of this was lifted verbatim for this episode’s script.
As for the sudden shift in tone and genre at the end? Once more, the source of inspiration escapes me. But most likely, I thought it would be twisted and funny for poor Elias’ day to be ruined ten fold by having a body float up to him on shore.
I really, really, really wanted to make this. But even with that passion, I knew it would be difficult. Filming would have to involve halting traffic. I’d have to gain access to a vet’s office, or the lobby of one, anyway. I’d have to cast someone who didn’t mind floating face down in murky lake water and sand for possibly an extended period in time, not to mention someone else who would be okay with pretending to drown, not to mention assuring anyone else that might be around the lake at the time of shooting that we were just playing make-believe. But on top of all that, the obvious difficulty would have been: how the hell am I supposed to gain access to a duck?? Is there a duck farm that rents out ducks? Do I hold auditions at a pond? Do I have someone dress up like a duck and make this thing a Wilfred-type scenario?
All of that was not ideal, nor was it too feasible, and so, the dream was dead.
Cut to ten and a half years later, when I was starting to prepare for S3. I was struggling to come up with ideas for the episodes. I had titles and genres in mind, but very little in terms of character and plot. I may improvise a lot when I write these scripts, starting them without really knowing how they’re going to end, but if I don’t have any scene or moment ideas in my head, let alone my ideal beginning, then the urge to get something started doesn’t really hit me. I had a makeshift lineup for where I wanted the stories to fall in terms of seasons, and at this time it was hard for me to move anything around, for whatever reason. Like, Ah, this genre is too similar to something in S2, so I can’t have it right away in the following season, blast it, cry cry cry, woe is me, this is so not as big of a problem as I’m making it. I decided to look through old screenplay and story ideas to see if there was anything I can turn into an episode, and lo and behold, there sat the file for “A Friend to the Animals.” Short, simple, and fucking weird enough to qualify for the WiWY… treatment.
However, like I said, it was only ten pages. It would need to be expanded. But how? Realistically, how could I make one man’s efforts to rescue a duck interesting, especially in just audio-form? The answer, as they usually do, came from real life. That’s right, gang; the concept isn’t the only thing based on truth. The core of the whole story is, too. Albeit in a less co-dependent way… I think…
A few years ago, I went on several dates with someone I met on Hinge. Dating is very rare for me, not necessarily out of any sense of disinterest or fears of rejection, although those both definitely factor in to a certain degree. And dating apps specifically were a fucking chore. It’s just hard for me to feel any sort of connection through just messaging, you know? Obviously, that’s why you’re supposed to meet in person, but as an introduction, messaging sucks. Still, there were a few occasions where I matched with someone and felt some sort of chemistry, even through just the typed word. With this particular woman, while there weren’t any surefire sparks during our app chat, it seemed like sparks seemed to fly during our first date, judging from the way we get along to the fact the date lasted six hours and we kissed at the end of the night.
Due to busy schedules, the next handful of dates were spaced apart by a week on average, but we texted (regular texting this time, because numbers were exchanged) almost every day, though never in a way that felt overwhelming, as far as I remember. The chemistry felt electric for me the whole time. I really liked her.
But then the fifth date came around. Right off the bat, things felt a little off. We got pizza and went to see Booksmart at the Metreon in San Francisco. One of the actors in the movie was actually seated behind us with his friends! All that time, though, that electricity I had once felt before felt dim. It was almost as though she was holding back. I tried to tell myself it was nothing and not to blame myself, but a part of my brain knew something was up. After the movie, I offered to give her a ride home, and this is where things really fell apart.
A couple weeks prior, I had purchased a cool stuffed animal I saw in an Etsy ad: a rabbit with a rainbow mane/mohawk. I intended it for myself, because WHAT A COOL THING, but seeing as though my date had some stuffed animals of her own, I figured, Hey, this could be a nice gift to give for her collection. So when we got to my car, I handed her a bag with the now-rendered present. Her reaction was… not as thrilled as I had hoped it would be. She gave me a hug, but that electricity now felt all but fizzled out. Sure enough, when we got to her house, she told me that she felt mildly uncomfortable about the stuffed rabbit. I nodded and agreed that it may have been too much. She was very honest and told me she was worried that I liked her more than she liked me, and that she didn’t want to lead me on because she wasn’t sure yet if I was her “person” or if I would be. I appreciated, and still do appreciate, the candor with which she gently dumped me. She gave me the bunny back and said she would like to be friends, but would understand if that would be too hard for me, either for a while or forever. It was too hard for me; I was crushed. I thought we had the beginnings of something special, but it turns out, as is the case so many times with so many other people, I was only paying attention to half the story. I haven’t seen her since.
(Although! Maybe a year and a half later, Hinge did feature her again as someone who they thought would be most compatible with me, which I thought was hilarious, especially considering I’m pretty sure I marked us down as “we met,” but maybe I just unmatched with her and that threw her profile back into the fray. I wanted to share the humor, in a kind of bygones-be-bygones sort of way, so I matched with her and included a message saying I thought this was funny, because we clearly weren’t compatible, and that I hoped she was doing well. She replied a day later with some laughter and well wishes of her own. And, yes, a part of me was hoping for some kind of cinematic rekindling— I’d be lying to myself if I said otherwise— but I wasn’t holding my breath for such an outcome.)
As I am wont to do, I took my pain and put it in a story to share with everyone! I restructured the story to feature not just Elias, but Diana, the woman he desires. That way, the focus for the story would be more on the relationship and less on Mission: Duck Rescue, which would in turn allow for more conversations to take place, which meant more pages that would fit my vision for the episode. One big change, though: I didn’t want the story to be from Elias’ POV. That wasn’t as interesting to me, especially when, as the story got more and more away from my experience, Elias seemed to… if not “creepier,” then more overwhelming than he realized. Making sure the story was told from Diana’s perspective would insure that she could never be considered a villain during this whole ordeal (as I don’t consider the woman I dated a villain in any way, shape or form), and, hey, maybe I could get a little therapy out of the exercise? I think it paid off. The telling-it-from-Diana’s-POV thing, not the therapy-thing; who knows if there was any effect? As for the ending, when things do seem to switch over to Elias’ point of view? Well, you heard me at the end of the episode, regarding any confusion: I ain’t explaining shit, so have fun coming up with your own theories.
Casting for “Duck” was probably the easiest of this season’s six episodes, not just because there were primarily two roles with an assortment of smaller ones popping in and out, but because I could easily hear people’s voices when writing and reading the dialogue. The role of Paul was always WiYW-vet (from Season 2’s “The Butler Did It”) Conor Allen’s to have, especially when he started to talk about pudding, which feels like a very Conor thing to say, either in or out of an improv scene. Brett Jennings, a former student of mine and current stand-up extraordinaire, has such a unique delivery in how she speaks and it was just perfect for Lindsay. Kevin Inglin has been doing more character-based acting as of late, so I knew he could immerse himself in the character of the mysterious man. As for the leads, Diana and Elias…
After the aforementioned “The Butler Did It,” I knew I wanted to have Lexi Diamond back, only this time she would voice a character more grounded in reality, somebody in stark contrast to Det. Monica Dart. In the photo below, we’re all giving her a round of applause after another take of Diana’s big tell-off to Elias after the ill-fated trip to the animal shelter.
Clockwise from left: Christof Whiteman (Elias), me, Lexi Diamond (Diana), Kevin Inglin (the man), Brett Jennings (Lindsay), and Conor Allen (Paul).
Lexi takes her bow as we all applaud.
And for Elias, Christof Whiteman was a friend of Kalia Armbruster’s (of “Noble Steed” and “Eurydice Rescue” fame) up in Portland, who was recruited during the lockdown for Conor Allen’s Improv All Stars Zoom-prov shows. Again, his voice was perfect for Elias’ somewhat hushed demeanor, so casting him was a no-brainer. I also still haven’t met him in person, which is the case with a lot of Zoom-prov over the last couple years. One day… one day…
Hopefully now, the coda at the end of the episode makes sense, when Conor talks about looking like a cop.
Good ol’ Snap Camera.
That’s pretty much it when it comes to the making of the episode. Recording went off without a hitch, blah blah blah, finding the right duck sound effects proved more difficult than you would think, yada yada, I’m still not going to explain the ending, nah nah nah. So why is this blog still going? Well, it’s the last one for the season, so I just wanna reflect a bit on what this season was about.
As I’ve said before, I don’t go into each season with an overarching theme in mind, but one can kind of emerge once all the stories are completed. For Season 3, I think my unconscious focus was on the effect we have on everyone around us. The slightest action by us can have a butterfly effect for so many other people and we can be none the wiser, mostly because we weren’t thinking about anyone else when we did what we did. But is that even any way to live? Sure, we should empathize and be aware of other people’s lives and experiences, but what happens to us when we hold back our own wants and needs in favor of someone else’s? In other words, how the fuck does anyone manage to be in a successful relationship? I clearly don’t know how if I’m giving stuffed animals to people on the fifth date. And I have very little experience overall with relationships, and the longest one I had was not under the best circumstances. So I find myself avoiding them altogether. I often jokingly say, “Loneliness is just easier.” And despite the joking tone I attach to it, I do think that’s true. I don’t feel alone, after all; I have friends and family around me at all times, and that matters more to me, especially because I didn’t always feel that way. But even then, I know I or they can make choices that are going to affect others in some way. I try to be mindful of that, but where is the line drawn? When is it okay to do something 100% for myself without worrying about the consequences? Is that ever okay?
I have no clue, and I guess that’s intentional. I’m good with coming up with the questions, but not so much the answers. Such is life, I guess?
Anyways, that’s what I think Season 3 was about. Beyond all of that, this was definitely the toughest season so far, if the length it time it took to release it is any indication. I’m hoping Season 4 will be completed much more quickly, but I’m not diving into full on pre-production mode for that until the new year.
Oh! You’re wondering about Season 4? Well, I can tell you that all the scripts have been written and are just waiting for fine-tuning. Casting is being narrowed down in my head, and I’m hoping we’ll actually be able to record in person this time around and audio quality will all around sound more professional. Not that that’s my biggest priority, but it is noticeable, so don’t tsk tsk at me; I know what’s going on.
What about the content, you ask? You know me, I love a good tease, especially one that really doesn’t provide any information whatsoever. But I’ll do what I’ve done before and, as a Season 4 teaser, give you a list of some of the things that inspired the stories that are planning to be told.
The Girl on the Train
Law & Order
Coachella
Duel
Eisoptrophobia
Smart House
Cows
Make of all that what you will.
Thank you for listening to Season 3.
—Andy